If you are part of the 10 percent of adults in the United States who are in recovery, you may find re-entering the world of dating after rehab intimidating. Trying to traverse dating while not drinking is no easy feat, but it is possible. Here are some tips to assist you in online dating in sobriety and a list of applications that are best for online dating in recovery.
Tips for Navigating Online Dating in Sobriety
Be honest in your profile
To avoid becoming triggered or uncomfortable on a first date, it is important to be upfront about your sobriety. Many online dating sites and apps ask if you drink in a profile questionnaire. Checking “never” makes it immediately clear to others that if they need to drink to date, maybe you aren’t the person for them (and that’s okay). That being said, you do not need to say you are in recovery in your profile if you do not want to, however, it is something you will eventually have to be honest about if you want to maintain a healthy relationship.
Plan a low-pressure date (that is not at a bar)
The aim of a first date is to get acquainted with the person and see if you two connect. This can be done at almost any venue, such as a coffee shop or a park, and does not necessitate drinking or going to a bar. If you find it difficult to think of venue suggestions, maybe find a common activity you both enjoy and suggest that, such as going for walks.
Decide what you’re comfortable with
If you have matched with someone and are getting along well, but they are in recovery, you have to decide if you’re comfortable with that. Depending on where you are in your sobriety, someone that is not sober, but respects your boundaries, can still be a great partner. That being said, you must be upfront with your boundaries concerning drugs and alcohol to gauge whether or not this is the relationship for you.
Being in recovery isn’t weird or awkward
Not drinking doesn’t make you awkward or weird. Everyone has different reasons why they don’t drink, and you’re entitled to sharing your reasons when and if you want to. Discussing recovery is only uncomfortable if you make it uncomfortable. Not drinking is your choice and you don’t have to justify it.
The Best Apps for Online Dating in Sobriety
Along with considering these tips, effectively choosing what online dating platform you use can optimize your chances of meeting someone you connect with. Here are some apps that are designed to help facilitate relationships between those in recovery:
Loosid helps those in sobriety find other like-minded people who enjoy alcohol- and drug-free activities, with over 1.4 million users so far.
Hinge is not just made for those in recovery, however, it allows you to customize your matches based on your lifestyle. This can help you more easily find others who do not drink.
The original sober dating site, 12StepMatch.com, is a dating platform for people in AA, NA, AI, or any other 12-step program.
Clean and Sober Love
Clean and Sober Love is similar to Tinder and other dating apps, this app is made for those in recovery and allows you to swipe right on individuals you’re interested in.
Single and Sober
Single and Sober is a traditional dating site (like Plenty of Fish) that has different tips and ideas for dating in sobriety.
Although this app, MeetMindful is not just for those in recovery, it focuses on helping those who think mindfully and who desire a deep connection meet.
Remember, not every dating app works well for everyone, so do not be discouraged if one app is not for you. Through applying these tips and testing out one or more of these applications, you will hopefully begin to feel more confident in putting yourself out there and dating in sobriety.
Develop the Tools to Date in Recovery at NuView Treatment Center
If you still need some assistance with online dating in sobriety, NuView Treatment Center can help. At NuView Treatment Center, located in West Los Angeles, you can receive the support you need to become confident in your sobriety. NuView offers outpatient addiction treatment that is designed to give you the tools you need to recover from both dependence and addiction.
The staff is trained to develop individualized treatment plans for each client and assist with addressing underlying conditions (including mental health disorders) that may be motivating your drug or alcohol use. Through this, you will develop new, healthy coping mechanisms and plans for dealing with possible triggers. Having these skills is necessary for navigating possible date situations that may challenge your recovery. Ultimately, the compassion evidence-based therapeutic modalities used at NuView Treatment Center help you develop the skills and tools to stay sober long-term.