Boundaries in Recovery

Introduction

Generally speaking, boundaries mean limits. In psychology, boundaries refer to physical, psychological, and social limits that a person draws to protect their health and well-being. Boundaries are useful in defining how others behave, protecting oneself from any danger or harm, and maintaining control over life.

At the NuView Treatment Center, we believe that setting boundaries can strengthen the recovery journey and lead our clients to avoid triggers and lead a sober life. Healthy boundaries translate to the ability to say no, avoid cravings, limit time spent with family or friends who engage in substance use, and also establish healthy relationships with near and dear ones who enable recovery. Therefore, healthy boundaries become an essential step to recovery and in preventing relapse.

Introduction to Boundaries in Recovery

Boundaries in recovery are healthy boundaries. They involve:

• Saying no to offers of drugs or alcohol.
• Communicating assertively with near and dear, and clarifying the need for personal time and space.
• Avoiding triggers that are associated with substance use, thereby preventing the chances of a relapse.
• Limiting the amount of time spent with family and friends who engage in substance abuse.
• Establishing healthy relationships with family and friends who understand the need for recovery and motivate recovery.

Healthy boundaries are very necessary for recovery. Failing to set healthy boundaries leads to behaviors like manipulating or controlling others, pleasing others to avoid conflict, and feeling responsible for others’ emotions or behaviors. All these factors are major red flags that need to be avoided, especially when one is on the path to recovery and sobriety.

Get Help Now!

The Importance of Setting Healthy Boundaries in Recovery

Setting boundaries in recovery becomes an essential part of treatment and rehabilitation. Usually, in cases of substance use disorders, healthy boundaries rarely exist at all. Substance use overtakes life and becomes the priority, so everything else is neglected.

Bringing back the healthy boundaries lost to substance use goes a long way in avoiding triggers and behaviors that can lead to relapse, building and strengthening healthy relationships in life and avoiding those that are unhealthy, prioritizing self-care, and reclaiming control over one’s life.

The above-mentioned factors are beneficial to successful recovery and a sober life. Failing to address boundary-related challenges increases the chances of relapse. Hence, it is one of the aspects of life that is addressed in therapy.

What Are The 4 Types Of Boundaries?

When it comes to recovery, there are 4 types of boundaries that must be kept in mind.

1. Physical Boundaries – This is the most tangible one, it pertains to physical space. For instance, if someone around is abusing drugs or alcohol, removing oneself from that place is drawing physical boundaries. This helps avoid the need to use substances again.
2. Emotional Boundaries – It involves separating one’s emotions from those of others and taking ownership of these emotions and feelings. Setting emotional boundaries has a two-way use. It allows one to avoid being manipulated and controlled by others as well as avoid manipulating and controlling others to get what they want.
3. Time Boundaries – Time boundaries involve making the time available worth it. This involves establishing priorities and managing time for a successful recovery journey. For instance, managing time to prioritize attending therapy sessions or a 12-step recovery program instead of giving away this precious time to other things that are not as important is an example of setting healthy time boundaries.
4. Internal Boundaries – These refer to being aligned with one’s own morals and principles, and avoiding any behavior that is in opposition to them. For instance, if spending too much time with peers who abuse drugs or alcohol goes against one’s own morals, limiting the time spent with them is setting up internal boundaries.

Get Help Now!

Common Boundary Challenges in Recovery

It is clear that healthy boundaries are crucial to recovery. However, it does not mean that they come without their own challenges. Therefore, identifying and addressing these challenges also becomes a crucial part of treatment and rehabilitation.

Some of the common boundary challenges in recovery are as follows:

• Fear of disappointing near and dear who may not understand the need for boundaries.
• Feeling selfish or guilty about prioritizing recovery over the feelings of others.
• Inability to communicate assertively regarding the need for boundaries.
• Addressing and overcoming the previously unhealthy boundaries.

Steps to Setting Boundaries in Recovery

Challenges in recovery will be there every step of the way. However, they only need to be considered as stepping stones. Like other things in recovery, challenges pertaining to boundary setting can and are addressed in therapy. Some steps to setting boundaries in recovery and overcoming challenges to the same are:

Identifying the need for boundaries, especially where they must be drawn. For instance, the kind of behaviors or circumstances that are discomforting and need to be avoided or removed. These are unique to every person, and must be identified to proceed with setting boundaries.

Being clear and assertive in communication helps others to understand the need for boundaries, especially where these boundaries are most important.  

‘No’ is an important word in the dictionary as much as someone does not like to hear it. However, learning to say no becomes very important in avoiding or removing discomforting triggers or circumstances from the environment. It also helps prioritize self-care.

Take baby steps, one boundary at a time. For instance, politely telling someone that the way a present conversation is going is discomforting.

Being consistent in whatever boundaries are set, as inconsistency can lead to confusion and once again, boundaries that must not be crossed tend to get crossed once again.

Seeking support from family and friends who already have healthy boundaries and understand the need for boundaries.

The Role of Boundaries in Different Stages of Recovery

The different stages of recovery are the precontemplation stage, contemplation stage, preparation stage, action stage, and maintenance stage. In each of these stages, boundaries have a role to play in about the following order:

1. When a person is recovering from substance use disorders, boundaries are important to achieving health and balance in life. Boundaries set limits, control behavior, and are crucial to regaining control over life that has become lost to substance use.
2. Consistency in boundaries provides the structure and stability needed for recovery. This sense of structure and stability is especially necessary in the initial stages of recovery, especially when one is navigating the challenges of treatment and rehabilitation.
3. Boundaries in recovery prioritize self-care. In substance use disorders, it becomes common to prioritize substance use over everything else in life, including physical and mental safety. Setting boundaries puts the focus on self-care, which is crucial to recovery and a healthy life.
4. Boundaries are significant in establishing healthy relationships. When one is able to communicate clearly what is appropriate and inappropriate, it reduces the scope for unhealthy and toxic relationships in life.
5. Boundaries are central to avoiding triggers and other circumstances that can increase the chances of a relapse. By setting limits on these triggers, one can protect themselves from any interactions or environments that can prove to be a challenge for sobriety.

How Can Boundaries Prevent Relapse?

Healthy boundaries are crucial in preventing relapse and leading a sober life. They are important in avoiding triggers – people or circumstances that can enable substance use, limiting the time spent with near and dear ones who can enable substance use, and also in establishing healthy relationships with those who are supportive of one’s recovery goals.

Boundaries promote self-care, which is crucial for physical and mental well-being. Self-care is also important in preventing relapse. It often gets neglected during substance use, as priority becomes the substance itself. Whereas, self-care puts the focus back on healthy and sober living.

In the end, what can be said about boundaries is that they are significant to relapse prevention. They serve as anchors in navigating those relationships and circumstances that can challenge and derail the commitment to leading a healthy, sober life.