Inner Child Healing in Los Angeles

Remember when we were children? All we wanted to do was grow up. But what happened when we finally did? Ummm, maybe C.S. Lewis said it better - “When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”

In a city like Los Angeles, where the emphasis on being “put together” follows you from dawn to dusk, the notion of having an inner child can feel almost impractical. Yet, there may be a tiny version of yourself that lurks somewhere deep within, and in the world of “adulting,” you are forced to set it aside. Still, it becomes a living memory of all your good and bad experiences, which can be very useful in psychotherapy.

The concept of an inner child was introduced by Carl Jung, who said, “In every adult there lurks a child - an eternal child, something that is always becoming, is never completed, and calls for unceasing care, attention, and education. That is the part of the human personality which wants to develop and become whole.”

In other words, Jung says that the inner child is part of our subconscious mind that drives many of our emotions and reactions. It is the reservoir of positive and negative experiences we have had as children that becomes the basis of our belief system that we use to view ourselves and the world.

Linda Whiteside, Clinical Supervisor at the NuView Treatment Center, explains, “Imagine yourself as a wide-eyed child who is looking at the world with wonder and curiosity. You absorb all these experiences and information, and that becomes your inner child. Childhood filled with love and care translates to a positive sense of self and joy, while negative experiences, like abuse, neglect, trauma, etc, translate to feelings of bitterness and rejection later in life.”

Inner child wounds are the experiences and memories of repetitive, negative experiences in your childhood years. For instance, lack of consistent care, dysfunctional family relationships, abuse, neglect, and other kinds of trauma. These wounds can also be called adverse childhood experiences, in other words.

Wounds like these often lead to unresolved trauma, which can then negatively impact you even far into adult life. For instance, maladaptive behavioral patterns that cannot be explained by any other reason can be the outcome of this kind of mental wound.

Depending on what your childhood experiences have been, your inner child wounds can manifest differently. Some commonly recognizable signs are:

• Fears of abandonment or rejection
• Negative self-esteem and self-worth
• Difficult emotions, like guilt, shame, and regret
• A lack of or damaged interpersonal bonds and relationships
• Unhealthy coping strategies, like substance misuse or binge eating
• Mental health symptoms, like anxiety and depressive symptoms
• Post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD.

Linda Whiteside says, “These wounds develop early in life, and they become entrenched in our subconscious - what this means is that we are not really aware of them, but they shape our feelings and behaviors. Feelings of never being good enough or worthlessness, people-pleasing behaviors, co-dependency, need for external validation, and other persistent struggles can often be traced back to these inner child wounds.”

If you notice any signs of inner child wounds, there is a real need to heal them. If unresolved, they can lead to childish outbursts, temper tantrums, low self-esteem, fear of abandonment and/or commitment, and self-defeating behaviors, among others.

If you or a loved one experiences any of these signs to the extent that they are hindering your daily functioning and interpersonal relationships, it may be an indication that you can benefit from inner child healing.

The good news here is that there are evidence-based psychotherapies that specifically focus on healing your inner child, like psychodynamic therapy and internal family systems (IFS) therapy.

You can heal your inner child wounds with inner child work. Here is an overview:

I. Connect With Yourself

Listen to yourself - whether you are joyful or upset. What is happening to you? What do you do? When you pay attention to these things, you begin to recognize what Jung called the “eternal child.”

II. Self-Care

Follow consistent patterns of self-care, like hygiene, eating, sleeping, and so on. But incorporate other practices like meditation and mindfulness as well. They allow you to experience your emotions, and you can begin working on your inner child.

III. Social Support System

Foster interpersonal relationships that make you feel safe and secure in the world. Even if these interpersonal relationships do not include your parents or other family members, it is okay. Sometimes, they can trigger your inner child wounds.

IV. Bring Out the Child Within

Do not be afraid of letting this eternal child out. Remember the interests you had as a child or the expectations you had for your future. Reconnect with them to tap into positive feelings.

V. Psychotherapy

Not all inner child work is meant to be done alone. You can benefit by working with a mental health provider, as they can collaborate with you in this healing journey.

To release your inner child, you will have to:

• Begin by acknowledging its existence. It resides deep within you and is as much a part of you as your conscious self is. So, acknowledge it exists.
• Listen to it - what is it saying to you? You might notice positive and negative experiences and memories.
• Dialogue with or write a letter to it. Ask questions - how it is feeling, what it needs from you, and so on. Then, start journaling these dialogues and experiences.
• Practice self-discovery tools like meditation and mindfulness to connect with it.

Linda Whiteside cautions, “The journey to releasing your inner child can be tedious and emotionally draining, especially when you have to navigate challenging, traumatic experiences and memories. In which case, do not try it on your own. Connect with a licensed therapist who can safely facilitate this journey for you, with you.”

You may have heard the saying, “All children deserve parents.”? So does your inner child. Rebuilding trust with the inner child after you connect with it is known as reparenting. This needs to be done with your therapist. The goal is to focus on, love, and validate it.

Generally speaking, there are 4 levels of reparenting:

• Discipline: You and your therapist will create a structured framework for personal growth and development. It involves establishing boundaries and maintaining consistency with growth.
• Joy: You will work on rediscovering the childlike wonder and playfulness to enjoy life and the world.
• Emotion Regulation: You will identify and manage emotions with mindfulness and resilience.
• Self-Care: You will learn to care for yourself in a way that is nurturing.

The reason why healing the inner child can be key to your therapy in Los Angeles is that it safely reconnects you with a lost part of yourself - one that seemingly disappeared somewhere between childhood, adulthood, and the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

Linda Whiteside says, “When you ignore your inner child for whatever reason, it becomes very difficult to keep up with daily life. It is a very real component of your subconscious that harbors your beliefs, emotions, memories of the past, and hopes for the future. Connecting with it becomes more than just keeping the innocence and doe-eyed dreams alive. It is key to your healing and overcoming those behaviors that are affecting you to this very day.”

So, here is how your inner child is significant to achieving healing with therapy in Los Angeles:

• It sheds light on how your past adverse experiences inform your present struggles.
• It reconnects you with your hopes and dreams you have moved past or set aside. This is truly empowering, as it connects you with the real you.
• When you understand where those difficult emotions are stemming from, you can manage them in an efficient way.
• You become aware of your maladaptive coping mechanisms and adopt healthy coping skills.
• You introspect, grow, and become more empathetic toward others.

If you find inner child healing resonates with your experiences and struggles, please remember that it can become tedious and draining on your own. But you do not have to - reach out to NuView today!

We will match you with therapists who can tailor a safe therapeutic environment for you where you can heal and move forward - without judgment.

Please connect with us at (323) 307-7997 to begin healing today!

1. Can inner child healing improve how I handle stress and other difficult circumstances?

Yes, by discovering the underlying reasons for your emotional reactions, you can respond to stress and other difficult circumstances with more clarity and control.

2. Can inner child work help with my relationships?

Yes, many negative relationship patterns stem from unmet childhood needs that surface in present-day interactions and relationships.

3. Is it normal to feel resistance when starting with inner child work?

Yes, resistance is common and often indicates that you are connecting with meaningful emotional experiences and memories that your mind has long since protected.

4. How long does inner child healing usually take?

While there is no set timeline, it can typically take a few months; for some, it can even take a year.

5. Do I need a therapist to begin inner child healing in Los Angeles?

While you can heal your inner child on your own, a therapist can safely facilitate this journey for you - especially when you are navigating difficult memories and experiences.