Interpersonal Relationships: Communication, Trust, & Emotional Growth

“No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.” :  John Donne

These lines are taken from the poet John Donne’s “No Man Is An Island.” No surprises there. These opening lines of the poem speak to a very innate need within all of us - the need for love and belonging. Many psychologists, like Abraham Maslow, based their theories on these innate needs years later, as they found the need to connect and develop relationships very crucial and very powerful. These relationships, which we call interpersonal relationships, enrich our lives and make them brighter.

Developing relationships is very simple - when you meet someone, you can begin a relationship with them. Anybody you encounter can deeply affect your life in ways you can never tell at the beginning.

However, in today’s heavily digitized world, strong and enduring relationships are somewhat of a rare phenomenon. We truly find it difficult to connect on a personal, deep level. So, in this blog, we will explore interpersonal bonds and how you can make them last.

The interpersonal relationship definition refers to the bonds you create with others around you, built on communication, understanding, and trust. These bonds can be with your family, intimate partners, friends, and even your colleagues or acquaintances.

When you meet and interact with someone, you begin a relationship. The relationships you develop are deeply personal to you - they are based on your needs, time, distance, and commitment. Some relationships stand the test of time, while others may fade away. But at the core, all relationships are connections. They have the power to affect you at some level or the other.

Interpersonal relationships matter to your mental health and emotional well-being. Speaking from an evolutionary standpoint, our ancestors forged bonds with others to collectively hunt for food, find shelter, and rely on each other for protection. Makes sense, as they existed in a savage world.

While we do not live in the same world now, the need for connection and community has been hardwired into our brains, so much so that we have become social creatures. Think about it: when we do not have reliable relationships in our lives, we feel lonely and isolated. Even today, we exist in a community. While we may not always rely on each other to survive, we still need each other to thrive and lead a meaningful life.

Interpersonal relationships offer a range of other benefits as well:

• Provide a sense of belonging.
• Foster feelings of joy and enrichment.
• Broaden your horizons and your world.
• Can act as a buffer against the distressing things in life.
• Can be a shoulder to lean on during times of crisis.

There are many interpersonal relationships in your life, and it is not always easy to fit them neatly into a box tied with a bow. They come in different shapes and sizes, yet the most common ones are as follows:

Family:

An old proverb goes, “You begin and end with your family.” True, it is your first connection with the world. Family can mean your parents, siblings, grandparents, and extended family. As you grow, your definition of family develops and changes. You will have your intimate partner and children you call family as well.

While your relationship with your family can vary depending on a lot of factors, it is still the deepest and most visceral interpersonal relationship in your life.

Friends:

Friends are like the family you choose. Sometimes, these bonds can go deeper than kinship. While friendships are largely situational and depend on your needs, your friends can come in different types. You connect with some of your friends every day of your life, while you meet others once or twice a year. Nevertheless, your friends are those you can rely on and who make you feel happy.

Colleagues:

Most of your adult life is spent at work. You are definitely going to bond with your colleagues. Some can even be lasting. You can bond with your colleagues over your job, interests, and other things.

Having supportive colleagues can enrich your work environment and increase your motivation and productivity as well.

Romantic Partners:

Last but not least, romantic relationships are extremely deep, intimate bonds you develop with someone you want to spend your life with, with whom you share dreams and hopes. Healthy romantic relationships broaden your world and make it brighter. They also fulfill a basic need for survival - sex and intimacy.

Interpersonal relationships thrive on certain factors. Think of them as the ingredients of your favorite recipe. Recognizing and incorporating these factors into your relationships can develop strong, enduring relationships that contribute to your sense of self and being.

Empathy:

Interpersonal relationships are based on empathy and understanding. Everything else flows from these.

Respect:

There is respect between you and the other person, whether you are similar or different.

Open Communication:

Interpersonal relationships cast a safety net within which you can feel safe to open up and be honest.

Active Listening:

Communication thrives on listening. You listen to the other person not just to reply but to understand, respect, and care.

Boundaries:

Every healthy interpersonal relationship needs healthy boundaries. A relationship cannot thrive if you are in each other’s pockets all the time, you need your space and time to grow and come into your own as well.

Broaden Horizons :

Healthy interpersonal relationships will enrich your life. They will broaden your world, bringing in something new and insightful that adds meaning.

Interpersonal relationships cannot be sunshine and roses all the time. They do come with their fair share of challenges. Recognizing these challenges and improving on them is also crucial to lasting relationships.

Communication Challenges:

Communication is very crucial for lasting relationships. However, communication needs to be open and two-way. When it is not so, it paves the way for dysfunction. So, there must be both listening and being listened to in a relationship.

Conflicts:

Dr. John Gottman of the Gottman Method said that 69% of the challenges in relationships arise because of unresolved conflicts. While he specifically refers to romantic relationships, it can also apply to interpersonal relations in general. Therefore, resolving conflicts before they fester like deep wounds is key to enduring relationships.

Lack of Empathy:

As we said before, relationships are based on empathy and understanding. When empathy is not present, a relationship can drain you out as the affection and care are just gone. It becomes the pillar of any relationship.

Social Anxiety:

Sometimes, inherent challenges like social anxiety can make it difficult for a person to socialize and maintain relationships. However, with therapy and effort, it can be overcome.

You may often hear things like relationships do not require effort; they just flow. This is the romanticization of relationships, and it is far from reality. Interpersonal relationships take skill, and here are some skills you can actively develop:

Emotional Intelligence:

Interpersonal relationships are social and emotional bonds. Therefore, emotional intelligence (EI) is at the center of it all. EI is when you learn to recognize and manage your own emotions as well as those of others. You do this by becoming self-aware, being open, actively listening to the other person, communicating clearly, and drawing boundaries.

Empathy:

Empathy means you understand where the other person is coming from from their perspective. How do you foster empathy? You walk a mile in the other person’s shoes and see where it feels comfortable and where it bites.

Communication:

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place,” said the Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw. Your communication with the other person must be open, clear, direct, and gentle. It is the line between certainty and uncertainty.

Active Listening:

Listening is also a part of wholesome communication. When the other person speaks, listen to what they say, do not interrupt, and ask open-ended questions to ensure you have understood them. Make them feel heard.

Collaboration:

Collaboration and cooperation are what hold a relationship together. Seek out the other person and be dependable yourself.

Conflict Resolution:

Conflicts exist, there is no two ways about it. However, you must take care to resolve conflicts. Develop conflict resolution skills where you get to the bottom of a conflict, brainstorm solutions, find a middle ground, and reach a common understanding.

Recovery is when you begin to take back control of your life after facing mental health struggles. From fostering enriching relationships to navigating toxic relationships, recovery can be challenging. Still, interpersonal relations are key to lasting recovery. They act as a buffer and protect you from crisis; they also serve as motivation and a shoulder to rely on during your journey toward recovery.

At the NuView Treatment Center, we often see that a person struggling with substance abuse and/or mental health challenges rarely has any healthy relationships in life. So, we prioritize building interpersonal relationships and connections - brick by brick, how you would build a strong house. When you join us, you will learn to respect yourself as well as care for those closest to you. We also seek to involve your family and friends in your recovery so that they can understand and support you. Moreover, we provide access to 12-step recovery programs where you can connect and build new relationships.