Sober Dating While in Recovery

At any given time, a new relationship reminds you what butterflies feel like. When The Beatles sang, “All you need is love,” perhaps nothing resonated more universally than that. The need for love and belonging is indeed a very deep-rooted, innate need. While everybody needs love in their lives, it becomes even more crucial when someone is recovering from substance use disorders, as love becomes more than just a need and central to healing.

Yet, committing to life-changing relationships very early in recovery can be a big risk you take. Still, if you are considering dating during recovery or dating someone in recovery/sober, then this article can be useful. Remember, there are no set of definite rules that govern dating in recovery, as every relationship is defined by a unique set of dynamics and takes a journey that is different from everything else.

Sober dating is when you date without alcohol or drugs. Sober curious has become a movement that has taken on a life of its own, what with the “Dry January” and other such themes. If you are looking to engage in sober dating as a lifestyle choice, it can even become a gateway for you to re-evaluate your relationship with alcohol or drugs as you date someone sober. Or, if you are someone in recovery who wants to date someone in recovery/sober, then it is a great way to foster meaningful connections and relationships in your life.

Sober dating comes with its ups and downs, which you need to be aware of before you take this step in your life.

Yes, you can date during recovery. However, and that is probably not a word anyone wants to hear, it is not really recommended to date during the first year of sobriety.

There is a solid reason why experts suggest taking some time off for at least a year before you begin dating: dating can be life-changing. A relationship is too big a commitment for anybody to enter, and even more so during recovery. In the early days of recovery, one may not be in the right state of mind to get into a romantic relationship, and moreover, it is a sensitive time where recovery must be the sole focus. So, entering a new relationship - with its many firsts and other challenges - can adversely impact recovery and increase the risk of relapse.

Dating someone is a special journey. If you are newly sober, it is a new life that you want to share with someone special. Indeed, you experience connectedness and emotional intimacy, and get to explore new activities with this special person as you rebuild your life with love and confidence.

While experts suggest waiting for a year into sobriety before you date someone, dating sober can be a shock to the system. As alcohol and/or drugs are so woven into the world of dating, it can be difficult to navigate the different emotions, especially the ones of awkwardness, anxiety, insecurity, and uncertainty, that come with a new relationship. However, it also becomes a way to evaluate your relationship with your newly found sobriety as you use other productive ways to manage your emotions, like meditation, mindfulness, self-care, and so on.

In fact, when you date sober, you consider your life in relation to alcohol or drugs and explore how new and different it is than it was in the past, as you find ways to enjoy it with someone else.

When you are dating a recovering addict, you might be wondering whether it is just as fun as any other kind of dating or not. Indeed, we are here to tell you it is doable and very fun. Of course, there are some things you will have to keep in mind when you are dating someone in recovery, like:

Take things slowly. As with any other relationship, sober dating is also taking every day as it comes. Only then can you understand your expectations in relation to the other person’s needs.

Take time and educate yourself about substance use disorders and recovery. This way, you will be able to better understand your partner, where they are coming from, and where they want to go.

Strengthen your partner in their recovery. Understand their struggles, triggers, temptations, and strengths. This way, you can enable your partner to put their recovery first.

Sober dating while in recovery is challenging. There are many dating apps out there, but they may be centered on drinking and even other substances. So, here are a few sober dating apps you want to be aware of. These are for sober singles and can be very beneficial in finding those who are similar to you and are seeking similar things.

Sober Dating Sites

Now that you are aware of the sober dating apps, here are some top sober dating sites you can check out as well:

Dating in early recovery and dating in early sobriety can be challenging. Therefore, it is advisable to wait for at least a year into your recovery or sobriety before you start dating. Dating will lead to intimate relationships, and the dangers of this while in recovery are:

• You Are Not Ready: The recovery journey is unique, and everybody navigates this journey differently. There are new things you learn about yourself, and this can lead to different feelings and emotions. At this stage, many do not want to add the emotional burden of dating and relationships.
• Triggers: A huge part of relapse prevention is avoiding triggers, especially early in the recovery. Dating or being in a relationship is not a straight path. There can be many ups and downs that can expose a person to triggering conditions and circumstances they do not want to be in.
• Codependency: Dating for recovering alcoholics or addicts can come with a huge risk of developing codependent relationships, which are neither healthy nor fair to both partners involved. One may rely on their partner a bit too much for support and validation. This can become overwhelming.

Intimate relationships in recovery can be enriching. They can add to your support system and contribute positively to your recovery and life. However, there are healthy ways to approach an intimate relationship in recovery:

• Time: Time, time, time, is very important. Give yourself time while you are in recovery. Take at least a year before you consider getting involved in intimate relationships. This can give you the time and an understanding of where you stand in regard to recovery before you step into intimate relationships.
• Honesty: Honesty is of utmost importance. Whenever you think your dating or relationship is going to become serious, it is crucial that you be honest with your partner regarding your recovery and your decision to stay sober. Sober relationships come with a different mindset and understanding. Therefore, communicating your expectations early on is good.
• Well-Being: Being in a relationship makes you feel good. It is comforting to your mind and body. However, relationships are not linear. Whatever happens, remember your health and well-being are always a priority during your recovery. One misstep can lead to relapse, and the risk of relapse is indeed huge. So, consider this before getting into a serious, intimate relationship.

If you or a loved one is looking to date during recovery or date someone in recovery, then you can reach out to the NuView Treatment Center, as we provide personalized guidance, social support, and community resources for you. You can enroll in 12-step recovery programs and informal peer support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Narcotics Anonymous (NA), or SMART Recovery, as they can be great resources that can help you rebuild your life and provide feedback whenever challenging circumstances arise during your recovery journey.

We believe that a life beyond substances is possible for everyone, and we intend to be with you every step of the way.

Contact NuView at (323) 307-7997 or mail us at info@nuviewtreatment.com.

What Is Sober Dating?

Sober dating is a growing trend where people recovering from substance use disorders seek to date like-minded persons who choose to lead a sober lifestyle.

Is It Hard To Date A Sober Person?

If you are considering dating a recovering alcoholic/recovering addict, it can be something new and different. It comes with its share of ups and downs, like every other relationship. However, it is also exciting and doable.

Can A Non-Sober Person Date A Sober Person?

A non-sober person can date a sober person. There is no rule that says you cannot. However, respecting each other's decisions is important.

Can A Recovering Alcoholic Date Someone Who Drinks?

It is not impossible for a recovering alcoholic to date someone who drinks. However, communication, respect, and understanding are required.

What Are the 7 Tips for Dating While Sober?

Be honest, communicate openly, take it slow, focus on the present, plan sober dates, surround yourself with social support, and never compromise on your recovery.

What Are the Realities of Sober Dating?

Some realities of sober dating are:

• Limited dating options.
• It can put you at risk of previous triggers.
• No alcohol or drugs to ease nerves.
• Different expectations.